moment of truth

Sunday, August 31, 2008 @ 1:51 PM

Dear angel of mine, Where do I start to express how I feel? Well, love's gone blind. Now all that I feel is what I hear. Your words rip and tear, and through my heart so weak and pure. Now I find myself wanting to die…

I bleed for the second time tonight holding the love that's in my mind. If only my love could be with you. If only this pain, this pain died too So I break you away, away, away from me. As I sit here alone oh just thinking about everything that you said. You know since I'm alone. Well, maybe after all, I was better off dead. Cause without you,my life's gone down... What do I do, when I find myself wanting to die?

Maybe this love should just turn to hatred.

@ 1:26 PM

When it all falls apart

My heart has just been brutally broken apart. Thanks a whole lot. Those friends I trusted.... a bunch of hypocrites. And once again, it all links back to him... It's because of him.... it's because of you.... You're draining all of me...

@ 12:41 PM

I'm skipping tuition because there's the netball match thingy at Toa Payoh Stadium, Singapore vs No idea what country. And then, I'll be going to Padang for the Boys Like Girls concert! Wooooppeeeeeeeeeee... Ciao

love, laura.

Throw it away,
forget yesterday.
We'll make the Great Escape.

Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 10:25 PM

2 crazy maids I have at home.
They insisted that I take a peekcha for them.

@ 9:54 PM

And so, Lowell woke me up twice this morning. Firstly, I was sleeping and he texted me early in the morning. Secondly, he called me right after his tuition. HAWHAWHAW! Lowell ah Lowell... Then we met up at Hub and we took a tube down to Harbour Front, we went to Sentosa to support Rina and Sheila. They participated in the Ripcurl Volleyball match, you see. After that, Rina left first. We went to have dinner at the hawker center, Harbour Front. Lowell, Sheila and I were super hungry and we ate so much, I tell you! Both of them walked me to the bus stop after that, met Khai on 167! Tiring day..... Tuition tomorrow, damn it.

love, laura.

Your "hello" made my day.

Friday, August 29, 2008 @ 11:08 PM

Had dinner at Pasta Mania with Rina, the food took very long to come but we had so much to talk about and we met many insignificant people. I have nothing to blog about.

love, laura

@ 5:18 PM

Yusheng said something that made me think alot this morning.

Ys: Last year, on this very day, you cried and cried for that bastard. Then this year leh? No more already..

Laura: You still remember? (laughs) How'd you, anyway?

Ys: I still took a peekcha of you during the celebration. You cried the whole night until both of your eyes were swollen like hell. Eyebags!

Laura: (curses and laughs)

My heart was cruelly torn apart.
But you just laughed and left me crying..

@ 12:21 PM

I just got home from school. Teacher's Day celebration was boring, I regretted waking up so early and go to school for it. I could have missed it and sleep at home. I'm freaking tired now. Not sure if I'm going out later.. Oh well..

love, laura.

I hate it when it rains.
I hate it when we used to run all the way home, squeezing under an umbrella.
I hate it when you used to block me from the rain with your jersey.
I hate it when it rains.

Labels: When it rains

Thursday, August 28, 2008 @ 9:16 PM

I played Touch Rugby with the guys today. Scary but fun. Sheila chow! I am sorry. I was only joking. Played volleyball and a little bit of basketball. Went to the hawker center to have ice and then home. I am super disappoined with my results that I swear I can go jump off a 25-storey building now. I brought this upon myself, I am so engrossed with all the fun that I neglected my studies. I am always like that! I don't know when I will start to grow up, be mature and think. How many billion times have I said that I wanna turn over a new leaf? How many times huh! What a disappointment ah Laura... I have to give my best shot for End of Year's papers. I really have to! Secondary 4 next year, I don't wanna retain, I don't wanna go ITE or whatsoever. I have to buck up, I have to! One more thing, am I really bitchy? That it makes people dislike me? I think I am. It's time to change, Laura ah Laura... Why did I become like that? Why why why why...

love, laura.

I'm shaking inside.
I don't know what I'm doing and where I'm going.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 @ 9:00 PM

Of all people, it has to be you. It has to be his best friend. I feel sick at the thought of it. When I see you, I see him. When I see him, I see you. When I wanna go up to sit with you or talk to you, he is there. But what can I do... I can't possibly tear you two apart. After all, you two are good friends. Call me insane, stupid or whatever. It is so hard for me, you know. I don't wanna make things difficult for you. I feel like giving it all up..

So hard to breathe, so hard to keep up with your pace.

Labels: better off alone.

@ 8:30 PM

Laura- Li Jia Wei
Rina- Feng Tian Way
Weihao- Wang Yue Gu
Amanda- Liu Guo Dong

Peirce Secondary's "table tennis" players. Wtfux....................... We don't play table tennis, volleyball ^^

@ 8:14 PM

I just showered. Didn't do much in school today, I did badly for my D&T paper. Oh crap! I wish I'm motivated to study hard. There was suppose to be the captain's ball and volleyball match against the teachers today but it was cancelled due to the freaking rain. But we had a match with Jan's team which consist of Baiyong, Nash, Zuokuan, Lowell and Shafiq. Some teachers came to join us and I did enjoy myself overall but a few things really made me mad. Oh yes! Before I forget, some idiot made me super irritated. He had tuition and left without saying bye. I don't know why but I really dislike it when people leave without saying bye. I find it rude. Aiyer, WHO AM I TO HIM TO COMPLAIN! So, Laura shut up. Eh eh eh, I have finished Breaking Dawn. Waiting for the next book to come out...

Love, laura.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 @ 9:33 PM

@ 9:16 PM

Dragon boating was fun but we didn't get 1st place for the race but it's okay! It was a great experience, anyway. Hung and Kent followed me home today, thank you! Tomorrow's the volleyball and captain's ball match against the teachers. Hopefully, we'll be able to own them! Limewire is sucking to the core.. Maybe I should change to another downloading software. I was super tired in school today. I slept through 3 classes. (mathematics, english and history) I wasn't the only one. Jaz, Amanda and Angeline were sleeping through out too. Some things never do change huh..

Love, laura.

When I grow up, I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

Monday, August 25, 2008 @ 10:50 PM

@ 10:24 PM

A new book, Midnight Sun, by Stephanie Meyer is coming up soon! I can't wait to see what will happen to Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.........

@ 9:50 PM

I just had my shower. I had a tiring but fruitful day! The "amazing race" was fun but super tiring. The girls in my group were the only enthusiastic ones, including Francis, the only guy who was bothered. The rest barely helped out. James and Cleon did help out though. There were 2 bloody jokers in our group, a burden to us. Do nothing but complain! Jackasses. Had dinner at Fareast Plaza with Angeline, Amanda and Rina. We met the malay boys there and I went home with Khai. I wished Hung could come but unfortunately, he had tuition. Dragon boating tomorrow, another tiring day! Dinner at Lynmay's after that? hawhawhaw.

Tons of love, laura.

Tell me you love me, you need me, you want me.

Labels: Going crazy.

@ 12:50 AM

Sera sera, you look pretty! And I look bad.

Sunday, August 24, 2008 @ 10:13 PM

Edward Cullen-the man of my dreams. I love you.

@ 8:52 PM

Up there are the peekchas during dragon boating! Tuition was alright, I was irritated by some stuff and I don't wish to mention it here. Hmmm, learning journey tomorrow. Waste of time! Gotta skip training just cus of some stupid dumb excursion. (Curses) I'm off to shower!

Love, laura.

You're my sunshine.

my only sunshine.

@ 2:00 AM

I am back to Gossip Girl. I stopped half way the other time and I am finally done with the whole of Season 1. Season 2 is coming out this September, I so cannot wait. I am tired. I should go to bed soon, not yet though. I need more of Edward Cullen. Night, world.

Yours truly, laura.

Do you still feel the same way about me?
Have the feelings slipped away?
I can't catch a breath when I know it's all going away.

Saturday, August 23, 2008 @ 11:51 PM

I know you will never forgive me.
This hatred you have..

@ 10:31 PM

I just got back. Thanks, Seraphina for the lift home! Okay, where should I start? Hmmm, I woke up bright and early today because Rina called me to asked if I wanna catch a movie today. I prepared myself so that I won't be late but apparently, everything was cancelled because the rest wanted to play mahjong. What the heck right! So I stayed home and read my book until Lowell texted me. I met him at our school's bus stop and we went to Sera's place. Played a little bit of mahjong and we had dinner. Lowell left for Cityhall to meet the other guys while the rest went home, there was only Sera and I left. Sera was thirsty and I needed the toilet, so we decided to waste time and took a tube down to Orchard. Seriously no life okay! I bought the fourth book, Breaking Dawn. I'm ecstatic to he max! I went to the toilet to do my business and I was embarrassing the shit of Sera. Mwahahahaha! Oh yes, we were at Borders. Louis and the rest came to look for us. We walked to Wisma because Bonn wanted to get some stuff. I was fiddling with Dan's DSLR camera. Rina, jealous? After that, home. Tuition tomorrow.................. Kill me. One more thing, Fadhi really reminds me of Edward Cullen. I'm not joking!

Love, laura.

Look after my heart-I left it with you.

Labels: Breaking Dawn.

@ 12:02 AM

Dear J,

Where have you been for the past few days? We have not talked for a really long time and I really miss you. I am walking on this line, trying to balance on it. I am not taking sides but I really don't know what to do. I don't know where to start, I don't know how to start. You will always be one of my bestest friend in the whole entire world. You were there when I felt extremely low, you woke up when I called you 4am in the morning because I had a terrible nightmare, you were there when I was going through a torment that I have been through for so long, you were there to listen, you were to advice, you were there to pick me up when I fell, you were there to wipe my tears away, you were there with me in the ambulance, you were there with me in the hospital, you were there whenever I needed someone and you won't complain at all, you were there to motivate me to study, you were there, you were here. Where are you now?! I am sorry. I am very sorry. I shouldn't have neglected you. It's all my fault. I wanna call you right now and tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you. We don't even talk during tuition and I am always racking my brains on how to start a conversation with you instead of listening to the teacher. You have not been coming to school and I am worried sick but I do not have the freaking guts to call or even text you. I feel so miserable. I feel so guilty. I am such a failure being your friend. Joey Yap Zu Er, I am sorry.

Friday, August 22, 2008 @ 10:51 PM

I have a sudden urge to keep blogging and blogging and blogging. I have so much to say to the world, especially to you. Freak! My mother is super annoying. And my dad is supper naggy. Edward oh Edward...

I have been thinking lately.
We can make it.

@ 10:27 PM

I lied in my bed for a few minutes, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance. It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, exercising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me for nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled towards inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me. And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain-the aching loss that radiated out my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head-but it was manageable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.

Whatever it was that happened to me that very night-and whether it was the zombies,that adrenaline, or the hallucinations that were responsible-it had woken me up. For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to expect from the next morning.

xoxo

@ 10:03 PM

That bloody big-mouthed michelle drew this.

Hungyih, I miss you >:( Intruder of my broken heart, the one who leaves me breathless with every word.

@ 9:45 PM

"Black eyes, wild with their fierce craving for my death, watched for the moment when my protector's attention would be diverted. The moment when I would surely die. Somewhere, far, far away in the cold forest, a wolf howled."

I just got back from town. I met Jazreel, Veron and Louis. We saw Hungyih, Royson, Baiyong, Lowell and Zuokuan at Wisma. What the heck right! I went home early because my mother wanted me back as soon as possible. The check-up was a waste of time and money. No wonder doctors earn big bucks with just a little talking. Oh well, I'm going out with the girls tomorrow again, I suppose. Thanks Rina and Sera for accompanying me to the hospital! I love you.

Love, laura.

In the same room but different worlds.

Labels: I cried and you laughed.

@ 2:39 PM

I have finished New Moon. Eclipse up next. I'm going to the hospital with the girls. Gonna have dinner together later on! Edward oh edward...

Love, laura.

January Nineteenth.

Labels: You were infront of me.

Thursday, August 21, 2008 @ 9:28 PM

"I knew we were both in mortal danger. Still, in that instant, I felt well. Whole. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect-not healed, but as if there had never been a wound in the first place."

I just got back from Thomson Plaza. I went there with my Dad and 2 sisters. I have gotten New Moon and Eclipse! I finished Twilight today. It is awesome okay! I really can't wait for the movie to come out this December, I am so gonna watch that movie. Training was alright and I hate Mr Tan. I really do. Okay, sometimes. Oh yes! I saw Weijie and Mr Shahul at Thomson Plaza. I have a appointment at KK hospital tomorrow due to my injured back. Ciao.

Love, laura.

"Happy Birthday", he whispered.

Labels: It's another year.

@ 2:36 PM

I am currently in the design lab with Joelle now. We're doing the bloody beauty science thingy because Mr Tan took our ezlink away and we will oly get it back when we have finish doing the stupid proposal. Some bitch went home when she was suppose to stay with us and do it! Argh. I'm fuming. Bye.

Love, laura.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 @ 10:40 PM

Dragonboating was super fun and I don't regret participating in it! Training tomorrow. Shitzxo, have not handed up proposal to Mr Tan, due today. So screwed tomorrow. And I am currently very engrossed in the book, Twilight. The movie is out in December. Wooo weee woooo! We had dinner at lynmay's. We were super super hungry and we ate alot. All of us were like fighting over the last bit of porridge and ice-cream. Super unglam! Oh well...

Love, laura.

Labels: This is the real world.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 @ 9:50 PM

Tan Teck Hwa Louis

He is a dope. A very very nice dope. The dope-iest dope in the dope dope world. Everytime I'm feeling down, he will be there for me and I really appreciate it. A faithful fan of my pretty blog, I suppose? Right, Lulu? Mwahawhawhaw! And and, he always thinks he's way cuter than me when that is so not true because I'm definitely so much much muchie much cuter than him. That's so obvious please! He'd better get his horse head into the depths of books because he has to study. Get some knowledge into his "great" brains. I am suppose to motivate him to study and to make him study! Oh, Louis Louis Louis Louis.... all in all, you're a great great guy! A gentleman, I must say! (eh, you better post something better on your blog about me okay!)

With muchie love, laura.

@ 9:39 PM

LOUIS.................. STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!!!

@ 7:58 PM

Hello, love.

Chilling.

Good girls gone bad. On the contrary, we were always that bad. The Four of us skipped Social Studies remedial and headed to Mac to have lunch. Saw my bloody cousin, Glenn Chia. Idiot! Awhile later, Veron and Weijie came to join us after their remedial. Hungyih and Shaowen came after that. Talk cock, listened to music and laughed at each other. We went to Shaowen's place. Weijie, Jazreel and Veron were watching stupid videos on the Internet. Amanda, Angeline and I were sleeping on the sofa. Shaowen and Hungyih were watching vollyball and soccer match. We woke up and started eating peanuts. Shaowen was helping us crack the peanut instead of us doing it ourselves. Mwahawhawhaw! Thank you, Ten. Left around half past 6. Dragon-boat tomorrow! Battle of the CCAs and Netball will definitely win!

Love, Laura.

Love of mine, someday you'll die.

Labels: Our hands clasped so tight.

Monday, August 18, 2008 @ 10:22 PM

I've tossed the coin. Head-forget him. Tail-wait. And guess what I got? Head. Forget means forget. No fate means no fate. So forget it! I'll NEVER blog about him again.

@ 8:46 PM

Training was alright. I have new blisters again. Old ones heal and new ones come, this is totally nonsensical! I'm freaking tired after training although I didn't do as much as my other team mates. There's nothing to blog about today. My life is super mundane, super meaningless..

My 2 friends are upset. Why? Boys. Why are guys such jerks, seriously? Can someone answer me that question? They bring nothing but harm to girls. Heartaches, buckets of tears, broken promises, lies etc. And when they're done with this girl, they move on to another one. They will come up with truckloads of excuses to ditch this girl but in a more "kind" way. Oh and supposedly, you're his first girlfriend cum first love, he goes gaga over you at first and the next thing you know, he kicks you aside just like a useless basketball. All relationships for us, teenagers, now have almost the same endings. Super cliche! Screw boys.

Love, laura.

This river of over-abundance of sadness has dried up.
I'm left with sticks and stones.

Sunday, August 17, 2008 @ 11:26 PM

edited version by louis.

@ 9:14 PM

I'm categorized under IRRESPONSIBLE STUDENT on Mr Tan's blog because I have not handed in my chemistry file and chapter 9 assignment. Great! I didn't even know there was a assignment on chapter 9. Bloody shithole!

@ 9:01 PM

I am currently reading this book.

I just got back from tuition, it was pretty alright! School tomorrow, training tomorrow! I'm gonna do some light training, I don't wanna be behind my team mates. First Toa Payoh wants another match with us and they have been training hard. They don't wanna lose this time round so I guess I gotta work doubly hard too. The shooters there shoots everyday. I feel so lousy now! Damn it. I shall shoot everyday too. Hopefully.

I'm still in love but you're so over me.
And I know I'll never change your mind.
I gotta try to let go.
You don't even care if I'm standing in the cold.
Struggling on this one-sided love.
I've always made it on my own.

Labels: I was always on my own.

@ 2:12 PM

Tuition at 4:30om later. What a nuisance! Well, I had a nice good sleep last until my imagination ran wild and I had a nightmare. Okay, it isn't a nightmare. It's a dream but this particular dream really made me very upset. It made me cried buckets and buckets of tears when I woke up. And I really mean, many buckets of tears. Of all dreams, I had to dream of this bloody dream! And Mrs Jeya was in it. What the hell right! cheebye. I just choked on my Tom Yum soup. Great! My throat's burning like hell. School tomorrow! Woah weeee wooooo. I can't believe I just said that.. I hate being such a nostalgic person.

(I wish you did) love, laura.

I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you so fucking much.
(Sometimes, I wish I'd never known you.)

Labels: Keep me from falling.

Saturday, August 16, 2008 @ 10:45 PM

My mood has been swinging lately. I hate it when I'm like that. I'll pop like a balloon soon, just wait and see. It's like I am happy and lively, the next moment, I am quiet and dying. What the hell is this huh, Laura! And I find myself superbly irritating when I am like that. I bet my friends think so too, bear with it please! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I don't wanna be like that but I can't help it. I have no more tears left to cry my heart out, to relieve myself from all the frustrations, to make myself feel better. I hate mood swings. I hate it like shit. I'm such a troubled girl. Screw me please.

SHUT UP! I JUST MADE MYSELF SOUND SO PATHETIC!

Kiss my pain away.
And I'd wish you will give me your heart again.

@ 10:13 PM

info

I am a girl and i am writing this as long as i could to make it look nice i love food and charms and trinklets and diamonds and pushing daisies and nice boys i love prada and louie and i listen to music like we the kings and the ting tings and the cab i do not like sweaty mornings and stalin and my hair being neat i love drawing flowers and my garden of eden so do you get my drift of making this part as long as possible?

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