moment of truth

Monday, March 31, 2008 @ 9:22 PM

There's tuition at 5 tomorrow. The thought of it makes me sick. I have to travel so far, all the way to Bukit Timah for 1.5Hours of tuition. How Troublesome! I had mood swings today during Mother Tongue period, I don't know why. I was just so fed up with everything. I isolated myself all the way to the seats at the window cus the fan was there and I was sweating like shit. Slept half away and RenJing told me to get up. Irritating pest. Ms Tan told me to stand up during Maths period cus I didn't do my homework. Used to it. Ikaaaaaaaaa!

JASMINE GOH! YOU DIRTY LITTLE BITCH, I SWEAR YOU'RE SO GONNA GET IT FROM ME _l_

@ 6:34 PM

I THINK I LOOK REALLY BAD IN THE PHOTOS BUT WHO CARES. HAWK HOUSE WON OVERALL FOR CROSS COUNTRY! (SCREAMS AND JUMPS)

Saturday, March 29, 2008 @ 9:08 PM

Went to the polyclicnic today, waited for 2 bloody hours. Then went to St. Nicks for the carnival. The school's huge man. Ate and walked around then I went home while Joey and Jazreel went to Fort Canning for some dance performance. (Everything I do, I'll always get a scolding from you. Even if I jokingly tease you, I am also at fault)

That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you

@ 12:48 AM

It's the start of a brand new day. Morning! hurhur. Shopped at Marina Square with Joey and Jingyee. We had Yoshinoya then we walked around. I bought two tops today. Super cool. Anyway, went back to amk to meet Lionel and then home. The new maid is here! No more helping out of houseworks! (grins) Going to St.Nicholas's funfair tomorrow. I wonder who's going.

"As I'm nursing a broken heart, he has already forgotten my existence. Watching, bleeding, heartbreaking, crying. I always swore to you I won't fall apart."

Thursday, March 27, 2008 @ 9:22 PM

It's Weixiang's birthday today. Happy Birthday! IPW was fun. Our group went around to sell stuff to help the SPCA. It was a success. Stayed back with Yusheng, Amanda and Jazreel. It rained again. I am being so random on my post today and I don't know why. Oh yeah, we had photo taking today, I wonder if I look bad. Great! I think my hair was fugly. I wanna go out tomorrow night, anyone? I wanna see Lionel but I don't know if he's free so I shan't ask. Perhaps I should just wait till Saturday. (sigh) I hate school. I think school is boring. I find school such a waste of time. I hate my class. I hate the one who sits at the back, next to Paul. I just wish he could just disappear one night and never comes back. Those pair of fucking small eyes are so gay. I can't stand the sight of him. I can't stand his voice. I can't stand him asking stupid questions which only proves that he's dumb. I can't stand him trying to get everyone's attention with his fucking lame jokes. I can't stand him being a clown. I can't stand everything about him. From top to toe, he's a freaking jerk. Inside out, he's a mother fucker. Liar. Cheater. Irritant. Klutz. Someone who is not reliable. I hope he can just fuck off and die. Please, if that really happens, I'll be over the moon. Someone kindly please get rid of him. Oh yes, I have to meet the bloody VP tomorrow. Screw her!

(You really make me hate you more and more. I hate you so much that I really hope to see you in misery. You know how much hatred builds in me everyday when I see you smile? Or even hear your laughter? I hate you to fucking core. Fuck the past! I don't even know why I was so dumb to let you hurt me time and again. Fuck off, just fucking do it please)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008 @ 10:10 PM

Hello Blogspot. How was my day? My day sucked. Why? I don't really know the reason why. I just don't feel good. Oh yeah, Jing! Iiiiiiiiiiiiikaaaaaaaaaa :D

To My Dearest Yap,

Hello my listening ear! I know you are very very upset that (what's up above) is leaving for Canada. Please do eat in school! I know your mood does affect your appetite but please, please, eat. Don't act as though you don't have to when I know you want to. hahaha! I love you so very very much, I don't wish to see you going through all these. I know you feel terrible inside, I am always here for you and you know that. If you wanna speak to anyone or whatsoever, I am just a phone call away. Even if it disrupts my sleep, I will be there for you. Ehmagawd, How nice of me right! When I see you like that, it really upsets me greatly. Yusheng, Sera and I will be behind you all the way. Pull yourself together okay! (Hugs)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 @ 8:39 PM

I am troubled. I have so much stuff to say to Lionel, I wanna tell him how I feel. How much he has neglected me because of his computer game and he isn't spending time with me cus of his friends. But the problem is, where do I start? How should I say? Will he care if I tell him? I have so many doubts that I wanna come clean with him but I just don't know how! He seems so happy and even though I am upset, love has got me going on. Somehow, I feel that I'm losing him. I had a really bad day. _l_

Sunday, March 23, 2008 @ 10:53 PM

Days are getting shorter and shorter and shorter.

My good friend says I should stop watching Teletubies. I don't watch it anymore. I used to be a huge fan of them when I was young but I find them creepy now. I can't even remember their gay names. School's on tomorrow. Bad bad bad! I hate school. I hate it to the max. It sucks. It sucks to the max. I'm gonna post the pictures I have taken for the past few days. Oh yeah, Yusheng tried commiting suicide but failed. Good Night World.

@ 4:04 PM

Save The Animals Campaign! Ong Jingyee have influence me greatly with the video she has put on her blog. The one which shows how the animals are cruelly killed by the poaches. It's terrible. I was cussing and swearing at those bloody poaches through out the whole video. Those *&%$#!@ beasts! This is something which I really can't tolerate please. I'm gonna do something about it, somehow.

It's Easter Sunday. I have truck loads of chocolate eggs in the fridge. My aunt gave me so many when I visited her yesterday after tuition. Awesome. I ate quite a few for breakfast. Fattening, I know. Who gives a shit! He is sleeping right now. He can sleep practically the whole day. Oh right, so long. xo

(You're a slowly fading, I wish you could just vanish into thin air)
So long, small eyes.

@ 12:29 AM

Sorry for doubting you, my love. I couldn't help but doubt. I love you so very very much and I'm afraid to lose you. I don't wish to make the same mistake and lose the one I love again. I hope you understand. I can't help but worry when you told me you're going to DXO. I'm sorry. I love you very very very very very much.

(insert heart here)

Saturday, March 22, 2008 @ 8:13 PM

We hit the beach yesterday. The sun was scorching hot but after awhile it became cloudy. Didn't get much of the sunlight. Damnit. Met Boyfriend after that cus he was also at Sentosa with his friends then went to his place. Tuition was a bore today. I lost my cover for my memory card. fuck it. I'm super irritated now.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 @ 10:24 PM

It's Ong JingYee's birthday today :D Dashed home after school to shower then took a cab down to amk hub to meet Jing and co. Played pool at Funland, hilarious man! Especially KokPing and Deleon. (burst into laughter) Went to some lan shop after rthat as KokPing and Honghan wanted to play dota so Jing and I played Audtion. About and hour later, Jing and I left for A* for dinner. Some old pervert kept staring at us then as he walked pass us, he said "sayang" I was like eeeeeeew and he smiled. Then when he came back, he was like "happy?" I screamed and we quickly left A*. Freaaaakkkkyyy. And then here I am, blogging right now. Oh yes, school was a bore. (as usual) Mr Teh's being a pain in the ass. Mr Phua was funny. Mdm Peh was a bitch. I am 101% sure that I'm gonna flunk my Design and Technology test cus I didn't study at all. Hello, I didn't even know there was a test cus I was absent on Monday. I'm thinking how I should spent my Good Friday. I want Sentosa! xo.

Monday, March 17, 2008 @ 10:11 PM

♥ Lionel

I met him today and I'm going to school tomorrow.

Sunday, March 16, 2008 @ 9:46 PM

She said baby can you please just stay
It ain’t too late to work this thing out
She said why can’t we make up like the last time
I’m just afraid to hear you say go
Baby don’t leave don’t leave don’t leave
Tell me you'll stay can you stay can you stay

(It's causing too much pain)

@ 3:02 PM

I got up late today. I was on the phone with Melanie, Joey, Seraphina and some guy by the name of Shaun. He's so gay, I swear. Gross. Anyway, I've gotten myself a Yang Wa Wa (doll) today. Melanie! hahahahaha. Omg, I'm becoming gay too :O tata.

Saturday, March 15, 2008 @ 10:07 PM

Why do you have to be so stubborn? What's the point of being stressed out when it's already too late? Ever spared a thought of how I feel............

(mercifully and beautifully taken down)

@ 2:08 PM

Good Afternoon. I just got up cus I slept at around 5 plus, talking to Joey on the phone. I just realised I borrowed lots of books from Ann and I have not read some of them yet so I guess I'll get started. I shll read my day away. I have started on a book called Constance Ugly, it's a true story of a loveless childhood. Pretty much touching. Mr.Boyfriend went to report at MCYS, waiting for his text message. Toodles.

(and will you tell all your friends, you've got your gun to my head.)

@ 12:01 AM

Oh Great! I'm still awake at the start of a brand new day. Apparently, some b-itch whom I have already aplogized went to tell tales again. (sticks nose in the air and flick my hair) I was reading my old posts and thought of the past and oh god, please look at the way I typed last time. Freeeaaaakkkkaaayee. I'm waiting for Mr.Boyfriend right now to fix his computer. It's down due to virus.

I almost died of depression early this afternoon. It's the aftermath of being stuck at home and doing nothing. I'm gonna get Boyfriend to get me some books from the library, I need to reaaaad. Replenish my Great Brain. I have not been catching up with my studies cus I am just not in the mood nor the discipline. I have 2 whole weeks and I'm not making full use of it, how saddening! I wonder what I'm gonna do with my life, my future. I think I should sit down and ponder, do some deep thinking. My parents are really disppointed with me especially Mom. Dad isn't around all the time but I know even though he's out there somewhere in this world working his guts out for this family, he is still worrying about me. My studies, have I been good, did I cause any trouble again or have I upset Mom. I'm rather or should I say very disappointed with myself too. I wanna pick myself up and start anew but the question is, where do I start? Life has been a living hell and I don't know what to do.

My love life, on the other hand, is going on smoothly and I won't let this relationship go that easily. I put my faith in you. Oh right, Good Night World.

(screwed up)

Friday, March 14, 2008 @ 8:27 PM

Step Up 2 is amaaaaaaazing! The lead actor, Chase, is suppppppppeeeeeer hot. ehhhhmaaaagaaawd(screams and then faints)

@ 3:14 PM

你最近还好吗？是不是也在思念争扎？你说会记得我，还记得吗？
Do you remember me? Do you, do you? Did I leave anything behind or am I plainly forgotten?

Thursday, March 13, 2008 @ 8:37 PM

@ 2:19 PM

Good Afternoon Ya'll. This post is dedicated to our sweet & innocent Clarissa. (claps of hands please)

I'm gonna be straight and not beat about the bush here. Yes, Jingyee, Mayling and I dislike you. Hate is not the proper word, I guess. That's what I think, I don't know about the other two girls though. When I don't like someone, I'll just tell them straight, yes, that's what I did on your blog. When I posed as passerby, you said if I wanna spam, put my name down right? I put my name down already, uh huh, and then? So what if you know who I am already. Nicholas must have told you tons of stories of me but whatever okay. You wanna know why I don't like you ? Firstly, I can't stand the way you dress. It's not like I'm the fashion police or whatever but I just can't stand it. Secondly, I think you're so god damn fake. Thirdly, don't you avoid Nich or I swear I'm gonna screw you upside down. Lastly, you should know that Nich and I had a thing between us before so it's kinda natural for me to react this way when he has met someone new although I do not like him anymore. But all in all, I'm happy for him. Oh yeah, you know Huiying right? Ehmaaaagawd, another bitch who got my friend into trouble! Birds of the same feathers flock together, don't ya agree? I bet you're thinking I'm being a total b-i-t-c-h right now, I don't care (: seriously. I am a bitch when I do not like someone. Tag me when you've got my message. Fuck off.

@ 12:15 AM

I miss the guy above so so so so much that I can burst into tears now. (cries and whines) Lionel ............................................................... Wo Ai Ni!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 @ 11:43 PM

Hello Readers, here's a piece of fashion advice from me. Please do not wear black Bebe tops out cus it's a total disgrace. (Stuluts wear it out) For example, _____ oh well, toodles.

@ 10:13 PM

I can't dance and I can't really sing. Oh well, I can just be Lady Laura Lim. (this is so so so tremendously lame.)

Ah, I swear chikeeeeen pox really sucks. (groans and stamps feet on the floor) I can't leave my pathetic house, stupid house. I wanna go Sentosa >:( This is so infuriating! Getting chicken pox during the March Vacation. Pissed. Irritated. Upset. Moody. Gag, this is damn irritating. All the spots on my tummy and head, whaaaattheeeefuuucccck! Fortunately, it isn't on my face or limbs. I don't have that many, not as bad as Hazel's cus I had the vaccination when I was young. (triumph)
Oh and guess what? I got the soundtracks from Step Up2. I got the soundtracks from Step Up2. I got the soundtracks from Step Up2. (claps of hands) Ah I'm going bonkers!

@ 2:47 PM

I'm poxed by chicken pox. (whaaatthefuuuck) Quarrantined at home for 2 weeks, no school and no outings. Ah daaaamn it. Boyfriend is in Pulau Ubin till Friday. OBS. I miss him so so so much right now. I can't even see him when he's back cus of the stupid pox pox pox. irritating. Went to Vivocity with Jingyee to meet Nicholas and his friends. Stupid Mingyang was being an irritant. (cusses) Then we headed back to amk. oooooohwell, that's all for now.

Hey you, I'm trying to keep you outta my mind.
I believe we'll meet again someday cus I believe I still have a special place in your heart.
I want a smile or a simple "hello" which will make my day.
Will you do that for me ?
(why do you hate me so much ?)

Saturday, March 08, 2008 @ 11:46 PM

Surprised to see me still awake at this hour ? Well, don't be and get used to it cus the March Vacation is here and this is gonna be a nightly basis. I switched on the air con in the living room as it was hot hot hot, now, it's furrrreeeazing cold but I'm hesitating to switch it off cus I'm afraid that there might be mosquitos lurking in the dark corners of my house. Oh well, I am a very fussy person so bear with it. Mr. Boyfriend's gaming at the moment and I'm supposedly waiting for his text message even though he's online. Weird, I know. Joey's lappy has finally recovered (fixed) and she's asking me really weird and sensitive questions right now. Oh right, anyone care to join me at Sentosa for a long bath under the sun (sunbathing) Sorry for my alien language. Noola, the alien, has currently appeared. She's one of my sub-characters. Childish juvenile act of mine. yeah whatever. I feel like typing with a slang now (bored) Excusa me, I know ya'll dunno whatcham saying but yooove gotta try tuh understandi me, okah ? HAHAHAHA! I'm so dumb please. Fabula, Sentosa on Tusday. Text me or ring me if anyone's interested. Buh byeee!

Labels: Sentosa, sunbathing.

@ 10:24 PM

Momma got a new number and phone for Claire and I. Gonna get Hazel's soon. Bye!

Friday, March 07, 2008 @ 7:39 PM

Thanks Weijie and Fiona for being there for me.

I got top 20 for Cross Country and Hawk House got champion for overall. A good thing to be really happy about! I feel that if I had put in more effort, I could have got top 10. Oh well, I'm quite satisfied already. I was about to give up, you know. Until Marilyn and Eileen cheered me on and I perservered till the end. I managed to got what I aimed for. I wanna thank Mr Ong, Miss Poon, Shawn Pang's dad, Mdm Foong, some unknown parent and the people from St. John's. As I sprinted across the field even though I had difficulty breathing and saw you running your guts out to the finish line, I felt warmth embracing me. But the moment you reached the finish line, I gazed into your eyes and I could feel coldness enveloping me. I was already panting the hell out of myself after my run and I sprinted to the finish line to give you my support but all I could get was your cold hard stare. When I turned my back and walked away, my heart sunk like a anchor dropping into the seabed. Salty tears started forming in my eyes, breathing got harder and harder. I felt I was gonna collapsed, fortunately, my friends were there. Crying and trying my best to gasp for air was bad enough already but the pain I feel inside, emotionally, was indescribable. I don't understand why I have to endure this kind of treatment from you, is it that difficult to just be friends ? I don't expect anything from you, I just want us to be friends and nothing more. I know I'm being a bitch typing all these when I'm already attached but I really can't help it. I know time will heal everything but as it heals, it hurts too. Since there's no more you or me, I've gotta let you go in order to be free. No matter how hard it's gonna be, I'm gonna be fine without you. I'm gonna smile cus I deserve to. Ah alright, that's all for now.

Labels: Bleeding, I'm bleeding, can't you see?

@ 10:17 AM

It will all get better in time, it's gonna hurt when it heals too.

So much stuff have happened between us in a day, how saddening you know! We're bith cool with each other right now but I really hope nothing happens bewttwen us ever again. I don't wanna lose him. Hmmm, I really wanna thank Shanice for being there when he and I were in the midst of our arguement. I love you, Pundeh! I didn't attend school today cus it's gonna end at 1145 so I don't see the point in going. I'm going for Cross Country though, lazy but I have to. I can't be irresponsibile. Going over to Boyfriend's house before that. Alright, till then.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 @ 9:12 PM

4th Feb 2008.

TODAY'S OUR FIRST MONTH :DDDDDD I LOVE YOU, LIONEL LIM SHUNSHUN! I AM GETTING OVER THAT BASTARD AND LOVE MY LIONEL WITH ALL MY HEART.

Monday, March 03, 2008 @ 10:06 PM

Tomorrow is his birthday and it's also my first month :D

Saturday, March 01, 2008 @ 11:47 PM

Sometimes, I would sit down reminiscing of the past. I think I should head to the finish line and let all this come to the end. Why am I still not letting go when I'm already attached to someone else ? Why am I still holding on when your heart isn't with me anymore ? Lately, I have been thinking of what I can do. I can't go on this way, I gotta stop. I am sorry, I won't go on this way. I really can't. Stop looking at me please, stop making me love you more and more each day when I am not suppose to. My heart hurts more when I feel you still here when I know you don't even care. I can't love you. I can't hold on. I can't go on without letting you go.

Why did you go in the first place ?

@ 11:13 PM

Feelings don't fade that easily.

Had tuition, came home. Changed, met Sera, Daryl and Macrus and played pool at Funland.

Labels: I'll be okay.

info

I am a girl and i am writing this as long as i could to make it look nice i love food and charms and trinklets and diamonds and pushing daisies and nice boys i love prada and louie and i listen to music like we the kings and the ting tings and the cab i do not like sweaty mornings and stalin and my hair being neat i love drawing flowers and my garden of eden so do you get my drift of making this part as long as possible?

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